Log in

10 April 2007 @ 08:41 pm


Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

as well as;
black wedges from oak
dkny pure cardigan in grey or black
modern japanese house by naomi pollock
compact houses: architecture for the environment by cristina del valle
space: japanese design solutions by michael freeman
eco : an essential sourcebook for environmentally friendly design and decoration by e. wilhide
ecocities: rebuilding cities in balance with nature by richard register
ecodesign: a manual for ecological design by: ken yeang

lately i am hating my life. i can't figure out what to do with it. i'm so stressed because i don't like the direction it's leading. why am i so fickle? there's this small lump of tiny regret that is growing in my chest. i don't know if i want to move back home anymore. i realized that this past weekend. it has nothing to do with my parents because i so want to be near them, but everything to do with everything else about that city. and i'm stressing because i don't know what i am going to major in. i thought i had put art school out of mind because i don't want to do photography anymore but now it's creeping back. i saw that california college of the arts has a visual studies major and that really really really interests me. except that they require a portfolio and i don't have one! i don't even know what i would put in it. i'm majoring in french right now but what am i going to do with a degree in french? i do not want to teach at all. i realized that the only reason why i am majoring in french is to take all those wonderful classes that interest me. the language courses and the literature and film classes but i can do that by myself. i already do. i already read all of those and i learn from them. why do i need to take classes for them when i do it already myself? what i've always wanted to do is work for an arts/culture/design magazine. climb my way up to art director. that's what i see myself doing. and i think going to art school for visual studies will help me. it just worries me about the portfolio. if i don't get accepted there as a transfer student, i don't know what i'm going to do. am i going to continue with my french major? should i apply to berkeley still? i think about this all the time and i get this feeling of dread. i'm scared i won't be able to do what i want to do. i'm still not going to transfer anywhere until another year or year and a half so i have time, but in a way i don't. i have to figure out what i'm going to do because majoring in french and majoring in visual studies are two completely different things and i have to prepare for only one of them with the classes i'll be taking. thank goodness i am going to san francisco in june. i can go visit the schools and talk to an admissions counselor and ask questions and i'm sure this will help me decide what to do. if all else fails, there is culinary school!

oh and yesterday someone hacked into my livejournal! luckily i caught them while they were in here! they knew my email address password and changed the password to my journal. it took me awhile to be able to change my password so they couldn't get back in but every time i changed my email address, they changed it back! until finally i was fast enough and was able to change my password. they also deleted my communities. but that is all. the person is from the valley! i know this because i have their ip address. why are people so creepy and wierd?!?!

Bawk Bawkpoopyteresa on April 11th, 2007 02:21 am (UTC)
where are all those pretty items of clothing from?
Wray L Sernawrayoflight on April 11th, 2007 02:24 am (UTC)
that happened to me a little bit ago...someone hacked into my journal and changed my password, people are bizarre..everytime a weird internet thing happens to me I cant fathom that a actual person is doing it...I think of the perpetrators as aliensss or something.

Also, I was a visual studies major at CCA when I first came in the school. Your portfolio can cosist of your photographs and drawings...whatever. You can put them on a cd and send it to them...mine was pretty bad when I entered but I got in anyway.

I am excited to see you in june...let me know if you want a tour of CCA.

oh and I love the first top you put up there.
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 11th, 2007 02:41 am (UTC)
yeah, it was really wierd!
oh, you were!? tell me about the program! how was it and how were the classes and why did you change? is it hard to get accepted? i have photographs but i've never tried drawing at all. :( maybe i'll take a drawing I class next semester. oh i can't wait to see you too! it's going to be so sweet. i'm so excited! i'd love a tour! the first top is so gorgeous, isn't it. i have one that looks almost exactly like it except it is black!

(no subject) - vanii on April 11th, 2007 09:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
grammars on April 11th, 2007 02:29 am (UTC)
i know exactly how you feel about school, i've been going through the same thing. all i can tell you is to not feel guilty about taking your time and making sure you do things right -- i think i've finally found my place & even though i should have graduated this year, i won't be graduating for at least two more years. but i don't care, because i finally feel like i have a direction. so take your time!

also, that's awful about your password. what a jerk!
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 11th, 2007 02:42 am (UTC)
you're right. maybe i shouldn't be stressing and worrying so much. there is all the time in the world. :)
krashhh on April 11th, 2007 02:29 am (UTC)
thats so creepy.
how they hacked into your account and you knew that it was those people.
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 11th, 2007 02:45 am (UTC)
i know!
it just reaffirms my opinion that most people from the valley are lame and immature. it's really creepy and i don't get the point. i wonder if it is someone that knows me or just some weird thirty year old computer geek!
Caitlinwhatdoyoulove on April 11th, 2007 02:30 am (UTC)
those are all perfect. I made a wishlist of all the things I want from oak and creatures and anthro and other places and it is totally depressing to look at

ps. thats really fucked up/terrible that people do things like that
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 11th, 2007 02:49 am (UTC)
i can only afford some of those things and that's only if i save up. it's quite sad. :( but they are still inspiration! it's not very hard to find similar things. like i went to old navy and i saw shorts that look exactly like the second pair except not in grey. and i have a blouse that looks like the first one except it is black. and i could have my mamma make me dresses similar! i love making wishlists. :)

p.s. i agree.
suzy creamcheese: lolitateknolovesong on April 11th, 2007 02:45 am (UTC)
first of all, would you mind sharing where these are all from? they are exactly the kind of think i'd like to be wearing this spring. those black shorts! oh my!

& secondly, i go to cca. for fashion design, but i can still let you know about the school & since i transferred here, i can tell you about the application process. the portfolio really isn't a big deal, it's just a collection of ANY work. for mine, i put examples relevant to fashion design : photos of things i've sewn, some figure drawing sketches, and some fashion sketches from over the years. a lot of what i put in it was stuff i did in my free time, not like professional work. and they accept a LOT of transfer students, i have every confidence that you would be accepted. it's an awesome school, too. they have some odd disorganiztion with the counseling/records departments (ugh, artists should never be in charge of a school) but the faculty is AMAZING and the access to eqipment etc. is really priceless. if you have anyyyy questions about the school go ahead and ask me! ok okok. i've typed so much!
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 11th, 2007 03:03 am (UTC)
can i have your email address, please!
(no subject) - teknolovesong on April 11th, 2007 05:12 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cinnayum on April 11th, 2007 06:11 am (UTC) (Expand)
mimsy borogovessolipsismsaves on April 11th, 2007 02:48 am (UTC)
I have quite a few friends at CCA who adore it...

Move to San Francisco, you will love it!
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 11th, 2007 03:07 am (UTC)
i have heard great things about the school! oh i am in love with san francisco! i know i will love it even more once i move over there. my parents aren't too keen on it though. :( my mamma keeps telling me that i won't be able to do it and asking me how i'm going to pay for everything. all i know is that i'm going to have to take out many many loans and as far as apartments, i don't know. how expensive is it living in sf? do you live on your own? luckily, my boyfriend will be coming with me so we can split the rent. it's been my dream to live there for the past four years and it gets me really angry and sad and frustrated that she thinks ican't go. :( my dad is better about it though he has always been more understanding and supportive of anything and everything i want to do.
(no subject) - solipsismsaves on April 11th, 2007 04:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cinnayum on April 11th, 2007 06:09 am (UTC) (Expand)
sharkysharkcartilage on April 11th, 2007 02:59 am (UTC)
i *love* all of the clothing. they'd be perfect for you, so fitting for your beautiful personality.

i'm sorry to hear about the hacking incident and your school confusion.

all will be well, dear.
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 11th, 2007 03:08 am (UTC)
thank you, thank you.
ṫ: 3tamishka on April 11th, 2007 03:16 am (UTC)
un, deux, quatre et cinq;
where are they from?

those books! amazing. i must definatly check them out with a friend of mine, who will be studying landscape design/environmental architecture next year!

i'm sorry you feel so stressed about what's to come. i've stressed about majors for the past 3 years but i took all the time in the world to figure it out, you have plenty of time to think it through marissa.
don't let the idea of building a portfolio scare you! you can take it as a big side project, the process seems like a lot of fun actually. and putting your heart into it will be very rewarding... a big chest full of creative treasures.
i see you working for an arts/culture/design magazine too!

(i was once very interested in majoring in computation arts/design until i realised it required a portfolio... i sort of chickened out! so i left the idea behind and went for a much more scientific alternative... environmental science/geography. i'm quite pleased with my choice but sometimes... i still wonder)

ṫtamishka on April 11th, 2007 03:17 am (UTC)
go for your dreams
(no subject) - cinnayum on April 11th, 2007 03:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
bumble btheopportunity on April 11th, 2007 03:23 am (UTC)
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<fontsize=1>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<fontsize=1>Sarah's having trouble with her portfolio for S.C.A.D right now. i know they are different school but Art schools (i'm assuming) have the same basic concepts. The reason you're even turning in a portfolio is to show things that you have done/tried and if you really knew what you were doing and sent in a perfect portfoilio, then there is no need for schooling. They just base on your cababilities and how much you really want it. Sending in polaroids or little pieces you've done is absolutley fine. I think you could do it because your dreams seem very, well you! I believe that would be best for you Marissa. You don't belong in the valley. and as much as i would miss you leaving, please don't come back! it will only bring you down. just work and do what you have to do in order to get into any school your little heart desires . <3 </font>
bumble btheopportunity on April 11th, 2007 03:24 am (UTC)
ah i'm sorry for the bad spelling and fontsize mixup! you get the picture though! (:
(no subject) - cinnayum on April 11th, 2007 04:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cinnayum on April 11th, 2007 04:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - theopportunity on April 11th, 2007 03:03 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - theopportunity on April 11th, 2007 03:05 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cinnayum on April 29th, 2007 06:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - cinnayum on April 29th, 2007 06:01 am (UTC) (Expand)
anonyme: glamour in the grassturninto on April 11th, 2007 04:04 am (UTC)
i've been eyeing that first top and the vest dress for awhile now. are the other things from alexander wang as well?
i can relate to what you are going through with trying to figure out what you want to do with your life. i guess all i can say is follow your heart. don't be afraid about applying to schools, you are so talented and smart and the fact that so many people can see that simply by skimming through your livejournal says a lot. i don't know anything about portfolios but you are definitely creative enough, i'm sure whatever you put together will be amazing. i think you will love san francisco and the bay area, it's an amazing place to explore opportunities in everything you could possibly be interested in. yes, it is expensive to live here but i know lots of friends and co-workers who manage just fine
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 11th, 2007 06:08 am (UTC)
no, just those two.
thank you so much for all your kind words, really. they do help me feel better. it's just sometimes really hard to have faith and confidence in oneself. i love san francisco and have for a long time. i can't wait to go back in june! i'm sure i will manage, i'll have to. another person said she pays 800 a month for her one bedroom apartment. i think that's really good!
bumtupacashakur on April 11th, 2007 04:23 am (UTC)
eee! the same thing happened to me! creepy livejournal hacking people!
i love your selection of clothing, so sweet! especially the little white vest dress.

best of luck in the school department, i've no doubt you'll have everything sorted out in due time. xo
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 11th, 2007 06:06 am (UTC)
it's even more creepy that the person is from where i used to live! i wonder if they know me! ahh, i remember when it happened to you! yours was more awful. :(
.sandandthestars on April 11th, 2007 04:30 am (UTC)
omgosh!!! please please tell me where the last little black dress is from...it is so pretty! :)


thank you
i know i have lost: interest: bird callstigerhearts on April 11th, 2007 05:42 am (UTC)
how did you "catch" them while they are in there??
I use pretty much the same code for everything I have online, so if that happened to me it will suck. I use a pretty random, non-meaningful code though so it will be hard to guess.

It's just hard to understand hackers that hack LJs...what benefit can it possibly bring?
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 11th, 2007 06:00 am (UTC)
well i found out because livejournal sent me the email that gets sent when you have forgotten your username. and i was like what?! i didn't request that! so i got paranoid and i changed the pw to my email. when i logged back in with the new password that livejournal email was nowhere to be found. it wasn't in my inbox or my spam or trash. someone deleted it! so that's when i knew they were probably trying to get into my livejournal so i came back and i went to the site map and then to the change pw link i saw something that said "manage logins" so i clicked it and there it tells you when you've logged in, from what ip address, what time, and the browser you were using. this: http://www.livejournal.com/manage/logins.bml. and that's how i found out because under the "currently logged in sessions" my ip address was logged in (me) and someone else's. that's how i got their ip address! the person must be a freak! i changed my password to every single one of my accounts. alllll my photobuckets, my last fm, my imeem, my flickr, my bank account, my oink, everything. i had the same password for everything as well so i had to. you should have different ones just in case. a livejournal friend of mine was just talking about this to me a few weeks ago. and i told her that my pw was the same for everything and she warned me to change it to something really obscure like askdfj94t594 but i didn't. :( there are no benefits, it's stupid. they do it because the know you and don't like you or are jealous or they do it because they are some random person that is quite quite bored with their life.
sewonsewon on April 11th, 2007 05:51 am (UTC)
i'm sorry about that hacker. what a bummer!

those clothes are so lovely!
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 11th, 2007 06:02 am (UTC)
oh it's quite all right. no real harm was done! :)
scenicworld on April 11th, 2007 06:15 am (UTC)
dude! somebody hacked into mine too!...My friend and my cousin go to College of the arts. They love it! you should definitely go. n_n
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 29th, 2007 06:02 am (UTC)
aw good! i've heard the same from other people. i can't wait to go look at it!
nonecakecrumb on April 11th, 2007 06:48 am (UTC)
that is monumentally creepy :(
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 29th, 2007 06:03 am (UTC)
for real. :(
Matildamusku on April 11th, 2007 07:32 am (UTC)
where are those pretty clothes from?
sorry about the creepy hacker.
h a n n a h: Brideshead >> Venicethisglasnost on April 11th, 2007 09:25 am (UTC)
I love those clothes :) I'm sorry about the hacking; i can't believe why someone would do that - how creepy and awful :/

I went through a lot of confusion with university and courses etc, so i know how you feel on that account.
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 29th, 2007 06:03 am (UTC)
yes, it was. :(
i'm hoping by the time i come back from san francisco and having looked at ucb and cca and the other art colleges i'll know for sure what i want to do.
(Deleted comment)
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 29th, 2007 06:04 am (UTC)
mmmm, i love chloe.
thank you so much. that makes me happy to hear!
   .   .   .: babyloveteam on April 11th, 2007 12:19 pm (UTC)
i shouldn't even be thinking about buying anything, but i'm so in love with the first top and the last two! are they dresses?

someone tried to hack into my myspace and it was right creepy. i just can't understand why anyone would want to though :{
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 29th, 2007 06:05 am (UTC)
yeah the last two are dresses!
because they are creepy or bored or jealous and have no life!
lisa.: DSL____geometry on April 11th, 2007 03:48 pm (UTC)
hello love,
i love all of these where are they from? would you mind telling?
ex_anatomyo on April 11th, 2007 07:07 pm (UTC)
people are just jealous of you. seriously, those who waste their time just hacking into people's blogs are just plainly idiotic.
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 29th, 2007 06:05 am (UTC)
i don't know about the jealousy part but they are idiots!
Jósedirtyfiends on April 11th, 2007 07:41 pm (UTC)
those clothes are so perfect! i'm really loviing neutrals.
and that is really really strange story!
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 29th, 2007 06:05 am (UTC)
mmmm, yes me too, it's all i've been wearing.
obacht! hier passiert noch was!y_ctrl on April 11th, 2007 07:54 pm (UTC)
how did they find out your passwords?
m a r i  /  マリcinnayum on April 29th, 2007 06:06 am (UTC)
i have no idea! that is the part that is creepy!